Dear ___[random person]____ Last page

  • pixel wrote on 16 Jun '05, 15:57 report
    Dear person I just ran into on the street,

    I really resent the fact that you are a bigger hussy that I am.

    Fuck you for giving me a hug that lasts a little too long and making a little too much eye contact.

    You get off on the fact that I am attracted to you and that is fine, but don't ask me for my phone number if you don't know how to pick up the phone.

    I also hate the fact that you when you asked if I had to go back to work, I had to say "yes".

    Love,

    Pixel.
  • dork wrote on 16 Jun '05, 15:59 report
    Is it like looking in an emotional/personality mirror?

    It's like that episode of Jerry Seinfeld where he gets engaged to his complete female equal but she's TOO MUCH of his equal. Jerry likes to eat cereal for dinner. She eats cereal for dinner every day.
  • pixel wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:00 report
    Dear Fontier Music,

    If you fuck up my violin again, I will hunt down your families and kill them.

    Love,

    Pixel
  • dork wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:02 report
    Dear Pixel,

    Your anger management class missed you last week.

    Please complete all exercises on page 20 of the work book.

    We look forward to seeing you next week.

    Dork.
  • random poster wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:03 report
    Don't blame me for all your troubles.

    remember I AM the innocent party in all this.
  • pixel wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:03 report
    Dear Whisky,

    Why do you taste so good and make me feel so bad?

    I know I said I was leaving you, but I don't think I can.
    Please try to remember the good times, and take me back.

    I want to be with you forever.

    Pixel
  • army man wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:04 report
    Pixel I'm sorry I hugged you too long, it was really cold and my trackie was at the cleaners. Could you tell I had a boner too?
  • dork wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:05 report
    Dear Gas Man,

    Why did you turn off our gas? Is it because we left you?

    Well don't blame me! I was happy, happier than I had every been. It's just the Bear came between us.

    Please, take me back.

    Forever yours

    Dork.
  • pixel wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:06 report
    Dear Dork,

    Please get me fucked up as soon as possible.

    I need the everlasting warmth of my own vomit.

    Pixel
  • dork wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:07 report
    Dear Pixel,

    Glad too.

    Would you like to come over for soup tonight?

    Dork.
  • pixel wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:11 report
    Dear Dork,

    Yes, yes I would.

    Please don't stick knitting needles in my ears.

    Pixel
  • pixel wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:14 report
    Dear miso soup,

    I love your saltyness.

    Forever yours,

    Pixel
  • glen20 wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:21 report
    Dear Short-Girl Clique

    I blame you for everything, deserters.

    In pieces,
    Glen20
  • random poster wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:25 report
    Dear Brassiere,

    I have not washed you for 3 months.
    I have also put on masses of weight meaning that you are hurting the precious commodities that are embodied in chest meat.
    I must move it or lose it but then if I move it too much the chest meat gets reduced too much.

    everything is sick dude,
    lover xxx
  • bsssm wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:26 report
    Dear people

    why are you all cunts?

    sam
  • moby dick wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:40 report
    Dear dork and pixel,

    it's so exciting to hear about you bright young things making your way in the big city. Some times it's like an episode of "Felicity" and other times it's like an episode of "sex and the city".
    Keep up the good work,

    sincerely,
    me
  • pixel wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:43 report
    Dear Moby Dick,

    Get a fist up ya

    Pixel
  • random poster wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:45 report
    snigger
  • fallon wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:45 report
    Dear everyone in the entire world ever

    I'm better than you

    -Tom

    Dear Lemmy

    Except you, maybe

    -Tom
  • spirit lust wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:48 report
    Dear Real Estate Agent,

    Please don't send us abrasive letters like that. We will pay rent when we can, and always will, when we can. There is no need to threaten us like you do. I think I'll even give you some money tomorrow,

    Sincerely,
    lusty.
  • flip wrote on 16 Jun '05, 16:57 report
    Dear God.

    Fuck you, sincerely.

    Flip
  • hail_satan_bassist wrote on 16 Jun '05, 17:10 report
    dear hail_satan_bassist,
    walk to the shop before your lungs fuck up even more,
    -hail_satan_bassist
  • stuporman wrote on 16 Jun '05, 17:14 report
    Dear Pain

    They say that you are my friend.

    I don't think so. In fact I am sure that I hate you.

    Fuck off and die
    stuporman
  • hilary douche wrote on 16 Jun '05, 17:18 report
    dear Richmond,

    win for me this week, please.

    lovingly yours,

    Matthew
  • bsssm wrote on 16 Jun '05, 17:19 report
    Dear my head

    stop being so annoying

    sam

    ps, find some new headphones, these ones are half broken peices of chickenfeed shit
  • pixel wrote on 16 Jun '05, 18:04 report
    Dear you

    Who the fuck do you think you are?

    Get out of my head.

    Pixel.
  • digi wrote on 16 Jun '05, 18:19 report
    Dear police,

    Please tell my neighbours this music needs to be played loud.

    Love and taco flavoured kisses,

    Digi.
  • dork wrote on 16 Jun '05, 18:57 report
    Dear Service Man,

    Thank you for being so kind on the phone. Your customer service skills are outstanding.

    Also, thank you for ensuring that a man will come around soon to turn the pilot light on.

    I only hope he shows us.

    Dork.
  • dane hunnerup wrote on 16 Jun '05, 19:13 report
    Dear Tony Abbott.

    I've never wanted to fuck someone up as much as you.

    You fill me.

    Dane.
  • pixel wrote on 16 Jun '05, 19:27 report
    Dear day,

    Why can't you be over?

    I just want to continue feeling angsty in the comfort of my own home.

    Pixel
  • forum joe wrote on 16 Jun '05, 22:15 report
    Dear Brassiere,

    I have not washed you for 3 months.
    I have also put on masses of weight meaning that you are hurting the precious commodities that are embodied in chest meat.
    I must move it or lose it but then if I move it too much the chest meat gets reduced too much.

    everything is sick dude,
    lover xxx

    Does this post turn anyone else on, or is it just me?
  • music_girly wrote on 16 Jun '05, 23:02 report
    Dear God of the Universe,

    What is the meaning of life?

    Thanks,
    Claire
  • captain funk wrote on 16 Jun '05, 23:02 report
    Dear Toilet,

    Take that.

    Love,
    Funk.
  • pixel wrote on 17 Jun '05, 00:15 report
    Dear thread,

    I'm so very glad you have gone over a page.

    You deserve it.

    Pixel.
  • ~spreckenstein~ wrote on 17 Jun '05, 00:50 report
    Dear Pixel and Dork

    I've found a bunch of pictures of Dork's Glam party at Pixels house at the end of 2000.

    Bribe me and I wont post them.

    Love Spreckulator: Destroyer of Worlds, Deracinator Extraordinaire
  • dork wrote on 17 Jun '05, 00:59 report
    Dear Sprecky

    Oh the days of being 17

    Post away!

    Love

    Dork
  • ~spreckenstein~ wrote on 17 Jun '05, 01:05 report

    Feel The Love
  • ~spreckenstein~ wrote on 17 Jun '05, 01:13 report
    this is probably the best photo of dork in existence
  • dane hunnerup wrote on 17 Jun '05, 11:41 report
    mein gott
  • pixel wrote on 17 Jun '05, 11:58 report
    Dear Sprecky,

    Your testicles are mine, bitch.

    Be thankful that you are in a different state right now.

    But oh how I will wreak my revenge.

    Love,

    Pixel
  • pixel wrote on 20 Jun '05, 15:58 report
    Dear new bike,

    I love you.

    From

    Pixel.
  • bsssm wrote on 20 Jun '05, 16:01 report
    Dear my eyes

    stop burning

    sam
  • pixel wrote on 20 Jun '05, 19:14 report
    Dear people who pose for the site I work for,

    The following things ARE NOT HOT OR AMUSING:

    1. Sticking a chuppa-chup up your clacker. ESPECIALLY when you continue to eat it after wards.

    2. Animals. Pets and nudity are not cool or sexy.

    3. Attempting to lick your own nipple. Yes, that's right, you just look like a double chinned dribbling fuck wit.

    Furthermore, flash and mirrors don't work. You do the science.

    Love,

    Pixel
  • dork wrote on 21 Jun '05, 00:43 report
    Dear Sprecky

    Fuck those were the days!

    It's a fucking great photo.

    Look how much bigger than him I am? How did he not get broken?

    Look at Snowy and Smeegle?? Look at em.

    Dork
  • dork wrote on 21 Jun '05, 00:45 report
    Dear Dork,

    Looking at the photo again I notice you have put on a considerable amount of weight in the last 4 years. What happened?

    Love Dork.

    Dear Dork,

    You got dumped and turned to cookie dough, remember?

    Love Dork.
  • willum wrote on 21 Jun '05, 01:24 report
    Dear brain,

    They're telling me you'll stop being mushy in a bit. Get well soon.

    I need you to function normally tomorow.

    - Will.
  • willum wrote on 21 Jun '05, 01:42 report
    dear world,

    you're a shithead.

    - The committee
  • prodigal sorcerer wrote on 21 Jun '05, 02:03 report
    Dear Andrew,

    Drink more water.

    Signed,
    My head.
  • the_new_imorality wrote on 21 Jun '05, 06:57 report
    Dear Digi,

    Burrito Burrito Burrito

    muchos mexicana,
    Ange.
  • dork wrote on 21 Jun '05, 10:20 report
    Dear Day

    You've only just begun and I can't wait for you to be over.

    Not enough sleep and far too much snot.

    Please, bring me some good fortune today

    Love Emma.
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